"You Fill up my Senses Like a Night on the Ocean" John Denver

10th May 2007

My senses are filling up as I relax here on the beach at Calla St Vincente in Mallorca. Gentle breezes and the sound of waves wash over me as I lie contentedly in the warm sun with a book.

I can see a yacht moored a little way out in the bay and memories of “nights on the ocean” flood back. Nights at the helm alone with the moon on the midnight to 4am watch on Dad’s boat crossing from Malta to Sicily. The sense of being at one with the boat and the mysterious dark sea and sky with only moonlight and the neon flecks of phosphorous dancing in the wash from the stern and the swish of the boat surging through the water – onwards, under sail.

Other memories of mornings moored at Gozo and buying fresh mackerel, sleepily at dawn, from the local fishing boats just coming in from sea, and frying it with butter on the little paraffin grill for breakfast with crusty and gooey Maltese bread after Russell had gutted the fish with a sharp knife in a bucket of water on deck.

Nights being rocked to sleep in my bunk by the waves. I miss my Dad. I miss those days. I miss the sense of having a home and parents to go to - just fleetingly.

I have my own home now and I am my own parents - or I can borrow others to stand in and I parent others.

The sun and the sea and the “now” is the same. There is just a different cast list that I will no doubt feel nostalgia for in 20 years time if I am still privileged to be experiencing it all.

I have come here to rest and eat healthily. There is no pressure or work or family and no computer. Very little telly (Eastenders and the News excepted) just clear, clean air, beautiful scenery and colours. Fresh delicious food and some good books and company. What more can a girl ask for?

I am reading a book about the Power Within and have been practising being in the 'Now'. That’s all we ever have - the presence now. We can attempt to control and manipulate our lives but they will unfold as they are meant to anyway. Better to sit back and enjoy the ride having done the best I can a day at a time. How to make God laugh? Tell him your plans!

Chris’s villa is spacious and comfortable and I have emerged from a great bone weary tiredness of the first two days. I had had my Herceptin treatment on the morning before the flight which left Gatwick at 6am. Winston gallantly offered to drive me to the airport. He being the king of the night owls arrived at 3am prompt in his silver Mitsubishi STO Sports Coupe and put my suitcase in the boot. We drove at breakneck speed on (thankfully) deserted roads and motorways under a saffron and rather eerie full moon. Narrowly avoiding hitting a fox that had decided to cross the four lane motorway; its eyes glittered like the cats eyes on the road as it darted in front of us looking in our direction.

My flight left on time but there was about a half hour walk to the gate and I was carrying a heavy carry on bag. Last minute bits and pieces and arrangements plus packing meant that I had not slept all night, but it was a joy to link up with Christopher and Lisa both waving madly in the arrivals hall at Palma after the two hour flight.

For two days I felt ill with exhaustion. My bones and joints ached and I felt cold and listless but slowly after resting and sleeping well I am being restored to about 75% me and am now enjoying myself and my new eyebrows!!!!

Here are some holiday pix of this magical Island full of beauty and wonderful surprises.