Four down – Two to Go!

Sunday 14th January

It’s day 4 and I’m feeling rough, but not as rough as yesterday!...The grey cloud descended as per usual on Saturday night and I spent a restless night with grey chemical dreams and woke up feeling ‘down and troubled’ with a hole in my heart; lead weights in my limbs; a fuzzy brain and a nasty taste in my mouth.

It was very hard to be positive and cheerful yesterday, but, as Naughtiness advised, I don’t have to be up all the time and it’s more helpful to say how I’m feeling.

Slept & dozed most of the day away interspersed by phone calls to see how I was doing. Barry Fitzgerald, lead singer of the Washington DC’s who recorded 32^nd Floor and a couple of other songs written by Mike Bradley, Gary Illingworth and myself 1n 1966. His lovely wife Kate, went through the same chemo thing and he has been very helpful. We reminisced over funny stories about the old days of Beat Club, the German 60's pop tv show. This lifted my mood first thing, and then a very welcome call from HN made the day a LOT brighter, and I managed to stagger up and make a bit of lunch and do a bit of work on the Rogers family photo session that I undertook last Thursday. I was not sure if I was up to it but I have taken the children’s portrait for the past 6 years and Cythia had, very considerately, sent a driver with a car for me to help with my equipment and thankfully the session had gone well and adrenalin kicked in once I started work. I sorted and enhanced the photos on my laptop from the sofa with my feet up and nodded off in between spurts of awakeness.

Today is marginally better. I’m not depressed and managed to get out of bed at 7am to say goodbye to Mia who was on her way to a school outing.

She is going to spend four days at Wicks farm in Gloucestershire helping to feed the spotted pigs; muck out and groom the horses; help milk the cows (machines nowadays) and make Gloucestershire cheese. The Farms for City children organisation (www.farmsforcitychildren.org) provides the country experience for city children, some of whom may never have seen a field or a starry sky at night.

She has been unbelievably excited about this very grown up venture away from home, and sat looking very “ready to go” in the back of Aimi’s car as I blew kisses through the window and waved her off with promises to write.

Christopher will be here soon and no doubt I will get a cuppa on his arrival and he will sit on my bed and tell me about his new house in Kenilworth and the lovely Lisa who’s bottom, he says, the sun shines from. In fact, when approaching Kenilworth, we were told, you can see a bright glow in the sky from it, and he has to wear sunglasses at night! We had a lovely 48 hours with them just after Christmas which culminated in a a pub lunch at the “Famous Virgins & Castle ”.

Wonders will never cease!!! Tonight I received news that I have been nominated for a Grammy Award (twice). Well, to be slightly more accurate, the Hat Box collection of Lost and Found 60’s Girl Sounds which contains my very small contribution of "We Don't Belong" recorded in 1965 and banned by the BBC, has been! It is for 'Best Historical Album and Best Boxed or Special Edition Package'. Wait till I tell Mia that Granny may have a Grammy!!!

According to my own diary, I will feel a lot better tomorrow! Just got to accept and endure and get through today as best as I can.